Alhamdulillah, Little.I is 19months today and boy has he grown so much!!
One thing I noticed in him is favouritism. yes, he prefers one parent to the other and sometime even our maid saja!!! First of all, I thought it was bad and thinking that we should've spend more time with him, i,e more leave from work!! *lol* well. We should tho... Kesian Little.I~ which is why I intend to do just that. Maybe just a one-on-one time between either one of us with Little.I.
Sometimes, out of wisdom I wished I could be Dr.Halina who has time between career and family. Then again, she's on maternity and breastfeeding leave at the moment so yes~ for sure ler more time spent with the fam.
Then I read through the Net and found this :
What it is: Your toddler loudly makes it known that she wants only Mommy (or is it Daddy?) to pour her milk, tuck her in, and make her boo-boos feel better.
Why a child favors one parent: Sometimes when you child favors you or your partner, this is your toddler’s way of showing you toddler independence. She wants to prove that she can make her own choices (in the same way she insists on Runaway Bunny every night or the green sippy every time she has something to drink). It may also be a matter of familiarity and comfort with her routine. She demands “Mommy do it!” (or “Daddy do!”) because that’s what she’s used to.
What you need to know when your child favors one parent: It’s hard not to feel rejected (and kind of dejected) when your child favors her dad (Mommy who?) — or to feel a bit guilty or smug if you’re the one being worshipped (Mommy rules!). But playing favorites is common with toddlers (for example, that toddler attachment to a lovey) and has nothing to do with one of you being the better parent or being loved more. In fact, pretty soon you may find that the tide has turned: Toddlers once fiercely glued to Mommy may be suddenly stuck on Daddy — or vice versa.
What to do when a child favors one parent: Like all other phases of toddler behavior(remember when she’d eat only grilled cheese?), this too will pass. In the meantime, these tips can help level the playing field when a child favors you over your partner (or the reverse):
Spread the wealth. If you’re the chosen one, make sure you’re not hoarding all the fun parenting tasks. By putting your partner in charge of some things your toddler looks forward to (flipping pancakes on Saturday, going to the park, reading bedtime stories), you give your mate a shot at competing.
Bow out (temporarily). It’ll be easier for your understudy to win over his little critic if you regularly let him take center stage. Run an errand, take a walk, or have lunch with a pal while your partner runs the show at home. Everyone wins — you get some me-time, your partner gets to shine. And given the opportunity, your tot may discover that Daddy’s singing-waiter routine more than makes up for his sorry sandwich-cutting skills.
Get busy. Even when you’re together, you can fade into the background by telling your mama’s girl, “Sweetie, I’m busy now. Daddy will help you.” Then step out of the spotlight — and resist the temptation to direct your partner’s every move from the sideline.
Show your love — even if she spurns it. It stings when a child favors your partner over you. But if your toddler is resisting affection from you, whatever you do, don’t let your hurt feelings show and don’t withdraw. That’ll make your tot only cling more to Dad. Instead, stay positive and let your little one know that you’re still into her even if she’s just not that into you (at the moment).
Blaze a new trail. One-on-one time with each of you is always a good idea, but it’s especially important when a child favors one parent. If you’re the one being snubbed, start some new traditions that you and your tot can do together — going to the farmers market on Sunday mornings, collecting leaves during walks, counting the stars before bedtime.
